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Saturday, September 28, 2013

Nearing the end of Nights

After a 13 day stretch of working 13+ hours per day, I noticed a couple of things:

- I get emotional
- If it's taking me too long to get a procedure complete, my frustration level is through the roof and I quickly convince myself that I am not as skillful as I should be by this point in my career. Even though I'm one of the very few interns who are certified (even several of my seniors aren't as qualified believe it or not), I am frustrated that I'm not as competent as my senior (who is renowned for his skill and ability to perform procedures on the most difficult patients). 
- My attention span is non-existent. 
- After so many hours and days of firing myself to do things I don't particularly care to do, I just can't force myself to do any studying or productive work. 
- I could destroy a full English breakfast. This hunger is ridiculous, I can't believe I haven't gained a ton over the past moth!
- I want to sleep but I have abandoned so many things in my real life that I don't want to waste more time with silly things like sleep. I mean, I have a house to clean, clothes to shop for, a wedding to prepare for, a house to decorate, and a husband to date! And I only have 36 hours before I'm back in work, so I have to use my time well.
- I'm too exhausted to drive home, so I waste time sitting in my car wishing I lived at the hospital (how pathetic is that!).
- I miss wearing clothes. Scrubs just aren't my style, man.
- I have a million thanks I want to tell my senior, but I can't muster up the brain power to make sentences without awkward silences, so the best I could come up with is a good handshake and a "thanks so much for everything". I hope it at least sounded sincere, since I know I wouldn't be half the intern I am today without this senior who has patiently taught me innumerable lessons over the two months we've worked together. 
- I seriously walked all the way out to my car with my night float phone in my pocket effort I realized "hey, I'm not working tonight, I think I need to put this back for my colleague to use tonight..."
- where is my brain? Living in such a fog. Maybe a few hours nap will do me good... :)

1 comment:


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